The time has come for hometowns! I always love these dates.
We get to see fam fams, and I sure do love fam fams! We get to see where the girls
are from and what (who) has made them who they are. Side note- The content of
this episode was important and interesting, leaving me with little recollection
of what the girls wore (I’m a little disappointed in myself). The few outfits
that caught my eye (good or bad) are discussed throughout the blog.
First stop: Houston, hometown of AshLee. She is wearing
black jeans, a black tank, and a plaid shirt tied up under her boobies. Not
working for me. Her dog is a cutie though! Also: I tried keeping count of how
many times AshLee refers to Sean as “this man,” but I gave up at 500.
Seriously, refer to him as Sean. That’s his name. Jesus Christ, why does AshLee
cry so much? AshLee’s dad’s hair makes
me LOL so freaking hard. Is the dude part porcupine? Did he get electrocuted?
He asks like a million questions about what they’ve been doing and where they’ve
been and I would do the same! Not because I was being protective, but because I
would legitimately be curious and jealous (I’m selfish so what). AshLee talks
about the Polar Bear Plunge and cries (we’re all SO shocked). Then her dad
laughs at her and so do I. I think AshLee’s mom, Deborah, is super cute and
sweet. Sean tells ole Deb that he won’t break AshLee’s heart, but he’s lying
and we all know it. He can’t know that. Don’t make promises you can’t keep,
Seanie baby. I like that Sean turns the tables and grills AshLee’s dad instead
of vice versa. Ballsy move, bro bro! AshLee’s dad’s story about meeting AshLee
for the first time kind of melted my heart and creeped me out at the same time.
But I get it. AshLee told Sean that she wants to marry someone just like her
dad, and in that aspect, we are soooo the samesies. I wanna marry someone like
my daddy, too, homegirl. AshLee’s mother tells Sean she can’t wait to meet his
parents and family. She’s so precious. AshLee says “this man” ten thousand more
times, cries ten thousand more tears, and then Sean leaves after their “magical”
(per AshLee) day filled with pixie dust. Whatever that means. Sean says AshLee
is totes spesh.
Sean travels to Seattle next to see Catherine. They’re both
so giddy and cute. She reminds me a lot of Ashley Hebert from Brad’s season of
the Bachelor and I loved her! Sooo, naturally, I love Catherine. Sean is ready
to get nasty on the hands and get dirty, so he catches some flying dead
fishies. Then Sean suggests Catherine try it out also, so she does. And I think
this is hilarious because she’s vegan.
Making a vegan catch dead fish seems a little cruel to me, but funny,
nevertheless. Can you imagine how bad they smell after that? I hope Catherine’s
family uhhh likes the smell of fish? Catherine says she loves Sean’s “big beefy
arrrrrrmsuh!!” Sean says he can’t be the cool guy with Catherine, and that he
doesn’t want to be. I like that. They’re nerdy and cute and fun. Catherine
tells Sean to touch her grandmother’s hand to his forehead to impress her because
it’s special in their culture. LIKE SHE WON’T KNOW CATHERINE TOLD HIM THAT.
Grandma is old, not stupid. Or maybe she is stupid. Who am I to judge? Catherine’s
loose blue sweater and her black flare-leg pants are SPOT ON. So cute. I’m
getting kind of a chic hippie vibe. Sean wears two aprons in the kitchen with
Catherine’s mom. Grandma thinks Sean is handsome. Sean does pushups with
Catherine on his back. So far, so good. Until her sisters voice their concerns.
And I’m afraid this is exactly how I would be if my sister were to go on the
show, as bad as I hate to admit that. I feel bad for Catherine because of her
sisters bringing her down and making her constantly defend her and Sean’s
relationship. Catherine’s sisters tell Sean she is kind of but not really ready
to settle down, and that she is dirty/messy and moody. I WOULD BE SO MAD AT
BROOKE IF SHE DID THAT TO ME (take note, sis). Sean says Catherine is totes
spesh, too. Catherine’s mother doesn’t give Sean her blessing. I think,
overall, Sean feels a little let down by tonight with Catherine’s family.
The next date is with Lindsay in Fort Leonard Wood,
Missouri. I wish someone would give Lindsay a synonym for “army brat.” I’m sick
of hearing that phrase. Sean is nervous to meet Lindsay’s dad because he’s a
two star general. I have no idea what that means (and I’m far too lazy to
google it), but it sounds intimidating. I love Lindsay’s outfit. Simple white
shirt, black pants, and tan booties. They just walk around the town, making a
few stops at an antique shop, a restaurant/bar, and a bakery (yay cupcakes).
Sean and Lindsay have a very detailed conversation about what to call her dad,
and she tells him to avoid calling him anything, but then they agree on “Mr.
Yenter,” although Sean’s “inclination” was to call him General Yenter. Lindsay
brings out some crazy cute windsuit pants and an army tshirt, tells Sean to put
them on, and then yells at him for going on other hometowns. I loved this. It
could have been really awkward and cheesy, and maybe it was kinda cheesy, but I
thought it was cute (probably just because I like Lindsay a lot). On to Lindsay’s
house! Lindsay and her mother look so much alike and act so much alike as well!
Lindsay says if her dad doesn’t like Sean, it would be a deal breaker (just as
it should be; if the parents don’t like him, buh byyyye). Sean’s talking about
the wedding dress thing. Aaaaaagain. Sean says Lindsay is totes spesh. Sean, AM
I TOTES SPESH? Everyone else is and I want to be too!!! “I love you” is a very
sacred set of words to Sean, and he doesn’t just throw them around. Major
points with momma bear! Lindsay’s dad is a softy! He tells Sean he would be
happy with Sean and Lindsay gettin’ hitched after telling us an irrelevant
story about paratroopers. Lindsay’s family is my favorite. They even gave Sean
a dog (identification, apparently) tag. Preshy! Lindsay’s lil bro held out his
hand as Sean was leaving and Sean instead gives lil bro a big ole bear hug!
Preshy again. Lindsay is muh faaave.
Sean goes to LA to see Des (why didn’t she take him to her
hometown?), and they go for a hike. Her bangs are annoying (again). Hiking
through a canyon with your dogs is apparently the thing to do in LA. Count me
out. Let’s talk for a second about how much I cannot stand it when people don’t
say thank you when complimented. Sean: Nice place! Des: I know! Sean: Nice
artwork, you did these? Des: Yeah. I know! Guys.. This. Drives. Me. Crazy.
Later, Des’s supposed ex-boyfriend shows up, and Sean is getting fired up!
Turns out it’s all a joke, and “ex-boyfriend” is an actor, and it’s all made
up. Sean, you’ve been punk’d. Where is Ashton Kutcher? He’s the one who
does(did?) that show. Right? Anyway… Payback for Sean. I loved it! Des’s family
arrives at her house, and Sean and Des talk about what all they’ve done over
the course of the last several weeks. Her parents are so sweet (her family
would be my favorite if it weren’t for her DA brother)! Nate, Des’s brother, is tat tat tatted up,
and he talks like an illiterate rapper. Really. He’s harsh and cynical and
straight up rude (Did I just describe myself?). Nate says he wants to “holla”
at Sean “real fast.” He’s gotta be a rapper. The next Eminem maybe? No? Nate
says there is no reciprocation, and I’m shocked he even knows what that means.
Nate calls Sean out for being crazy about three other girls as well, interrupts
him repeatedly, and then ends an awkward silence by calling Sean a playboy.
Sean gets noticeably angry and irritated, and they go back inside. It gets
awkward and Des’s parents start talking about the weather, and I start feeling
really bad for them. I’m sure Nate really embarrassed them, and I’m also sure
that Nate ruined this whole thing for Des. I would be LIVID if I were Des.
Thank God I don’t have a brother.
At the Rose Ceremony, Sean confesses to Chris Harrison that
he’s really not sure who he’s sending home tonight. He has it narrowed down to
either Des or Catherine. These two girls’ family portions of the hometowns didn’t
go as well as the others. This shows how important family is when choosing a
life partner. For this reason among many, many, many others, I am so happy my
family is wonderful and precious and loving and caring and every other positive
adjective one could use to describe a fam fam. Sean should pick me. Des
interrupts the rose ceremony (shall we start calling her Chris Bukowski?) and
tells Sean she’s sorry for the way her brother acted. Sean hugs her after their
chat and this tells me that she is going home (why else would he not kiss
her?). Part of me feels like Sean shouldn’t let the girls’ families influence
his decision a whole lot, but a bigger part of me thinks it would be better if
the family of the girl he picks actually does like them and does support them.
In a normal situation, maybe not so much, but in an unusual situation like this
one, it’s more important because of all the publicity and inevitable rumors
that will be started by tabloids. They need all the support they can get. Sean
gives AshLee and Lindsay roses then has to take a break to decide to whom to
give the final rose. After much deliberation, Des goes home. And I cry. Des isn’t
even one of my favorites; this was just a really sad goodbye. And I hate that
she has to go home and listen to her brother say “I told you so,” because who
likes hearing that? For a few seconds during their goodbye, I really thought
Sean was going to keep her around. I love that Des stood up for herself and said
everything she needed to say and left with no regrets (other than letting her
brother meet Sean probably). Side note- I really like Des’s gold sequined dress
here. It looks really good on her! Sean looks defeated, and he thinks he might
regret this decision. Time will tell. Des says she doesn’t know what she’s
going to do about her life, and to this, I say, LIVE IT. Why let a heartbreak
bog you down? You get up and kick butt every day, and you focus on things that
will never stop loving you, like Jesus. And your family, or your dog, or your
job, or whatever else it is that can consume your mind.
Until next week!
XO
Shae
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